As part of HelpAge USA’s new #OlderNotOver interview series, we are excited to spotlight some of the incredible older people who have undergone training for our Friendship Bench DC program.
Inspired by the Friendship Bench model in Zimbabwe, Friendship Bench DC is a program being piloted by HelpAge USA to empower older people to bridge gaps in mental health care. Leveraging their experience and wisdom, our group of dedicated “Grandparents” provide empathetic listening and problem-solving therapy to community members of all ages, promoting mental wellness and emotional support.
In this installment, we are thrilled to share the inspiring story of Friendship Bench DC Grandparent Charles Turner. Charles’s life is a testament to resilience, community involvement, and the power of education. His reflections on growing up in Washington, D.C., and his journey through life reveal not only his personal resilience but also his commitment to giving back to the community.
Early Life in Washington, DC
Charles was born in the late 1940s and grew up in Washington, D.C., during a time of significant social change. He recalls, “I am grateful that I was born, raised, and grew up here in D.C.” Growing up during the 50s and 60s, he thrived in an environment where the Black community was a majority. “There were a lot of us,” he says. He describes his childhood as one filled with opportunities and support from a community that encouraged him to dream big.
Attending segregated schools with dedicated Black educators helped foster a strong sense of identity and self-worth. Charles shared, “I didn’t grow up with an inferiority complex… In segregated schools, we had Black instructors and teachers who had high expectations for us.” This support instilled in him a belief that he could achieve anything: “They encouraged us to grow and live beyond the boundaries that the majority population has set for us.”
As the oldest of four children raised by a single mother, Charles learned responsibility at an early age. “What was the most impactful, I guess, was being the oldest of four children, and my mother being a single parent and working a job and a half. She would leave early in the morning and would come back sometimes not until eight o’clock at night. So, I had my brothers and sisters to raise,” he shares, recalling the challenge of managing his siblings while balancing his own education. “I had to get up in the morning, get them dressed, get them fed, get them to school, get the youngest one to the babysitter and come straight back home, get them out of their school clothes into their play clothes, and get their homework done while doing the work that I had to do around the house. My mother was a rough taskmaster. She would say ‘jump’ and you couldn’t even ask how high because she would tell you. I got beat for the things I did, I got beat for the things my brothers and sisters did, and I got beat for the things she didn’t know who did because she said, ‘if I beat you all, I know I got the right one.’ That taught me responsibility and accountability.”
Charles became involved in community activism as a teenager, volunteering at the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee (SNCC) office in D.C. He vividly remembers going down to the office after school with friends to engage in community work, a formative experience that helped shape his understanding of civic engagement and social justice. He recalls, “We would volunteer and listen to leaders like Stokely Carmichael and Marion Barry speak. It was good to be exposed to that.”
A Lifelong Learner
Charles’s thirst for knowledge led him on a journey of lifelong learning: “I was a perpetual student for about 15 years.” His educational journey included studying various subjects, from psychology to technical fields, all while actively participating in programs like Upward Bound, which paved the way for his academic and professional aspirations.
“I had the opportunity to do everything from being an electronic field technician to taking photography classes,” Charles explains, demonstrating his diverse skills and interests. His experiences ultimately led him to work in various capacities, including career placement and vocational training.
During his time in law school, however, Charles faced challenges and grappled with the complexities of the legal system. Reflecting on this experience, he states, “as Richard Pryor said, I went down there looking for justice, and all I saw was just us.” This disenchantment with law led him to shift his focus toward community service.
“I believed that education and employment were essential tools for empowerment,” Charles asserts. He went on to work as a career placement specialist in D.C. public schools, where he taught soft skills and helped students find jobs. “I plugged my skills into existing nonprofits doing employment training,” he adds, emphasizing his commitment to uplifting others in his community.
Involvement with Friendship Bench DC
Charles’s journey eventually brought him to Friendship Bench DC, where he became actively involved in community initiatives focusing on mental health. “I’ve always been interested in mental health care because I think a lot of the ills of our communities are based in mental health,” he explains. His background in psychology, combined with personal experiences, fueled his desire to contribute to the Friendship Bench initiative.
When discussing his motivation to participate, Charles said, “I could tell them my knowledge and leave the decision up to them.” This approach reflects his belief in helping people to empower themselves and find their own power.
Through his involvement with Friendship Bench DC, Charles has learned the value of open-mindedness and understanding. “I’ve learned to give a little more… to be more understanding and less combative,” he notes. This shift in perspective has allowed him to engage more meaningfully with others, even when opinions differ.
While he keeps his personal life separate from his volunteer efforts, Charles acknowledges that his experiences with Friendship Bench DC have reinforced his commitment to service. He shares, “To whom much is given, much is expected. And I also believe that your ability and your capability should conduct your accountability and your responsibility. I feel that I have been given a lot, and possibly I have something to give.”
Advice for Future Generations
As he looks toward the future, Charles offers sage advice for those wanting to follow in his footsteps: “Keep an open mind, keep a broad mind, keep an inquisitive mind, and keep a humble mind.” His words serve as a reminder that growth comes from being receptive to new ideas and experiences.
Charles’s commitment to service and understanding demonstrates that age is not a barrier to making a difference; rather, it is an opportunity to inspire and uplift those around us. As Charles beautifully puts it, “Don’t put your light under a basket. Let it shine forth so others may see it.”
